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Designer & Codes: l0ve---
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sorry for not posting this few days .... cause wendnesday got to go and work ....... thinking of work makes me sick .....work a day and get only a patheic $40 ..... 7hours a day .... my cousin and my senoir all got $80 dollars a day ..... my one patheic .....but fun ....XD

work and can see chio bu but not interested ...... XD ..... then today went for training ..... thumb still in pain but dont care just train ....... gee i going to be a softball fantic ....... dont know why when i not around our team like ....no team spirit like that .... all play not like their normal self ..when i around ... the whole team like alive like that.... play so well ..... but i also getting rusty but not so rusty ....... zzz...

after training go to teck eat ........sian sian sian ......after that went home .... so now sitting down in front of the com doing nothing ..... everybody ps me .... dont want to go to cross this saturday ......sian ........

so tommorrow go to school and buy books .... yan xun pei wo .... so good hahaha ......got quiz for u all answer it (softball players cant answer this execpt for yan xun )....

1. what is below the moon ??

2. why the police when see the pig catch the pig??

thats all i can remember erm i will ell u the answer on the next post maybe??

when i was going to training i was hoping you could like have band but .... everyday i cant see you i .... like abit sad like that .... well that does not matter to you ... but .. gee i am so stupid....

Walked with you @
7:49 PM
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today morning nearly cant wake up for the match ........... woke up early in the morning ....7 am ?? ok la not early .....so dress up and went to find guan wen ...... my senoir who can be a conmedian ....... haha .... likes to joke ....plain joker .....

so meet him and went to school ..... so sleepy .... somemore i dye hair .... the guard never even see it maybe too early his eyes cannot open ... haha .....but paul not so lucky ..... so when going out to the gate where paul is to pei him wait for the bus which is in the school where he cant go in ......haha .... when going out that time saw rafe .........long time never saw him le ...... he went to thailand .... but on the way visit my mother stall to see if i am there but i that day not working ..... hiax~~~ wasted the chance..........haha .....so after that took bus went to monfort ..... got thrash like shit .... haha but still a good game pity i never play ...... i really want to play the game but my injuries deny me ..... ahhhhhh .........

but the only person play in the game the most in the first few innings is sollihin ...... he is our asset .......hiax~~ .......after that came back to school ...... keep our things ...... and then went to teckveiw with mr scott and zi ao and zheng wei and zi cong and sollihin .......buy finish the food saw mei haha .... long time never see her le see her i feel happy dont know why haha .... and kiatsian also .......so after that went back home and slack and sleep .... so sleepy ......

bye ~~i notices you everytime ... in school early in the morning and in teckview ... i notices you but did you notice me?? ..... i guess no .....i dont really mean anything to you ........if you are happy i am happy ..... you are sad i am sad .... i guess this is love .........the truth is i still love you no matter what....i said this by zi jie

Walked with you @
7:13 PM
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so boring today ...... played maple all day ...... i am so childish .... play maple ......so sian .....morning woke up at 12plus .... so tired ......got excited by tomorrow's pcoming match against monfort .... lose for sure monfort so powerful .... somemore i didnt play .....

so stupid to injured myself ..... no third base .... nobody take over me ...... anyway also lose de so got me and no me makes no differences XD .......

this few days once i saw couples i begin to think of her why am i hinking so much .... whats in the past will always be in the past.... i cant change history .....history is history .... cant change the course of it ......

do we look like a couple .... i dont think so ... this question keep on surfacing in my mind ...... and i seem to keep on avoiding it ...... love is such a .... i dont know how to discribe it .......

love makes haterd in the person who got dump or rejected ......... animals cant hide their feelings while we human beings really know how to hide our feelings really well until that no one knows that he or she has feelings for you ....human nature i guess .....

i still love her ...... what can i do to not love her ... i hide my feelings for her ..... i can do anything for her .... but i am so stupid ..... i love her too much i guess but i dont care .. i will be her "gaurdian angel " even thugh she does not like me i really love her

bye an thanks for taggingXD

Walked with you @
7:16 PM
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sorry for not posting these few days .... cause got training .... need to go to work ... so tiring ... so bored ... so sian ... zzz at least it tells me my parents hardship ..... at least i understands them better .....

thursday afternoon went to training .... pick up a ball to see if i could at least throw it but .... when going to throw it it feels pain ..... then after training for two hours like that .... i realised that there is a band camp .... shit i totally forgot about it .... i wont go if i knew that .... i dont want to see her....... each time seeing her cause pain to my heart .... i really want her to hate me .... so that i cannot like love her again...... after that ... somemore i dyed my hair cant go into the school so follow rafe's tactis...... look at handphone ... haha and i went through ..... but it was not so easy .... after that got guards go to look at the training ... so i took guan wen's hat to block for a while ... put on until like very emo like that .... put until when going to staff room to put back key ... then guan wen want this hat back ... lucky no teacher ...

so give him back then ... suddenly got guard come guan wen faster lend me his hat .... haha so when putting on that time saw her .... i like totally sian diao lor ....

next day went to my mother's stall to work .... wa so damn tired lor ... morning cant get out of bed also must get out ..... walao ... back pain somemore ......work for the whole day ... wa sian .... tired sia ..... work until 7 plus like that went to sit at my mum's stall nearby ... wa stand whole day collecting money .... then sit on a chair ... and after a few mins i realized that i was sitting where she first came to find me when i working ..... recollections ..... i dont know whether to laugh or to cry ..... remember her laughing at me when i did something really stupid ... remembering her when she was angry with me ... sad but did not cry ......happy .... seeing her smile to me the first time .... remembering how we from being enemies to being couple to be friends and then back to enemies.... hiax~~ i also dont want her to hate me .... but i ... really dont know la ... i also dont know why i want her to hate me or i hurt her ... i dont know why ...

xuan jin said was right we both dont look like couple ... i only did a little bit things for her .... holding her hands in the marina square was the only time when we really look like a couple ... the rest are like friends .... like this kind of love will slowly fade away de ... xuan what you say was right ..... and thanks everybody for helping and encouraging me this few days when i am down ....

keeping our memories to my sealed memories... i love her.. truly
but did not treat her good ....


Walked with you @
5:26 PM
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i know i am stupid to end my life like that ....... i didnt end my life for her .... i end it for myself ... my troubling family ..... my troubles .... and most of all myself ..... facing my life really stinks .....everyday wake up ... got scolded ... holiday dont give me a beak keep on studying studying and studying ..... what can i do ... i cant select my family ... which family i want to go ....

that was the only sensible thing i heard you say to me .... life gives me a headache.... i cant choose anything ... i am like destined to be in this family and suffer ..... dying is not the best solution for me after i think ..... people in his world ... like minyu say is asking for life while me ... haha the opposite of them.... seeking death is really ....a stupid choice .....

before i maybe leave this world there are still things and wishes that i wish to fufill .... wa i write this like a last will .... haha kidding ....i have alot of wish ... wish that my family to be cheerful not like going to break off like that .... everybody just give me a break ..... when i am down stop ... just stop saying me .... disturbing me .....

i want to change my life with someone else .......going to perice my ear ..... dont know if it is right but dont care .... no one cares so why i even bother.....

ok ending here ....bye

Walked with you @
5:22 PM
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these few days ......dying i wasnt scare ... i am not scare of dying nowadays ... last time went into a gang fight with my cousin ..... i was so scare of dying ........ the thoughts of dying came to my mind my family .... my love one ... all those who care about me ......they are the reasons for me to be scare of dying ......

now no one cares for me already ..so even if i dies no one will care .... even will they shed a tear for me ..... i am not the only one that is miseable i know ... there are people aound me that are maybe ten times miserable as me ..... even so they also have a bright side to look at .... me .... i just have nothing ..... only being scolded for being sad .... come back home must give them a smile to tell them that i am happy going to their house .... wtf is this ......

say me acting like a gangster ..... say me step gangster ..... say me becoming like gangster .....you put me into this kind of family which 3/4 of them are gangster of course you will slowly become like one of them la .......think la .....after that you angry you come back scold me .... say i make you angry come on la ....... i never even say anything to you .... didnt even talk to you leh..... walao .... what kind of family is this sia ...... dont respect people call people respect you ..... you just fuck off my life can already ... simple easy and it settles everything .... so just fuck off la .... i dont care who you are ... i dont want to care anymore ....

hate me it is your choice i know i did you wrong first .... hate me so my life will never be so misearble ......... so hate me .... i dont give a damn about it ....hate me ... but i will really go and block a stab for you .... i am not some "wei da" de ren .... i am just ...me ... i am willing to exchange my life for you .....i am ... dont call me noble ....i just ...want to waste my life away ... nobody cares for me anyway ... so i dont give a damn if i were to die today or tomorrow...

Walked with you @
5:08 PM
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