Tuesday, September 21, 2010
This current moment. i feel that, i totally have no friends around me. just like someone being called upon, being pushed around, being used, being blamed. no one will know i even existed in their friends profile. Damn sick and tired. worthless toy, human, person.
Even people who are often critised or whatever it is has friends around them who talk to them, help them and provide them with supports. i just dont understand , maybe , this is how i am suppose to be treated.
my social circle tends to be within kitson, roy and kendrick. thats all . oh my. screw it man. i just wanna have more people to talk to . why no one replies? why people wanna kick me out of the group ? why has it always to be me? why why why?
i try to be friendly and approachable. But still, there is no response. i dont need any attention. i just need people to talk to me. but it seems like, only five people are willing to talk to me. the rest , are just . i dont know what to say. my words also dont carry any weights.
I dont have the courage to tell you things i truly wanna tell. i just likes to bottle up things. yeah watever.
after this, i found out , family are still the ones there surpporting and giving me advice and all those. thats why my father always tells me, family comes first than friends but i dont know why i just put friends first and friends, just put me last. so now , its just me and my computer for now. after that , its me and my assignments.
I cant wait to numb myself in books and knowlegdes. Woot. sucks.
Maybe this all ... is just a feeling only. i hope so .
Walked with you @
11:24 PM
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